


i'd never want once from the cherry tree

by lesbinej



Series: tumblr kiss prompts [5]
Category: Runaways (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, forgive me for inaccuracies i didnt actually read that part of the comics, nico's death is talked about, so i wasnt gonna make this explicit but then i did oops, this is. angsty as hell KJSDKDFS, uuuuhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 22:26:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16251038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbinej/pseuds/lesbinej
Summary: calmyourpitches said: Hey queen, could i get uhhhh a large no.20 with extra angst ty <320. …on a scar.(title from work song/hozier)





	i'd never want once from the cherry tree

Karolina stumbles into her room, exhausted, somewhat certain her dress for the charity gala is torn and ruined, after tonight. Tonight’s been something else—the whole gala had already fried her nerves, but then Nico had kissed her (kissed her! Karolina’s still reeling), and then  _ Alex  _ showed up. Karolina’s less worried about his return, honestly, but more worried about what his return means. What it means for her, for Nico, for the whole team. The fact that Nico wasn’t surprised that Alex was  _ alive…  _ that’s something for her to worry about later. 

Karolina’s examining the hem of her dress, and sure enough, it’s torn, when there’s a small knock on her door. 

“Come in,” she says absently, just realizing that she doesn’t have any of her clothes here because she’s at the Hostel, in the new room Chase furnished just for her, when Nico opens the door, still in her dress and heels from the gala, her lipstick still a little mussed from Karolina’s lavishing. Karolina doesn’t stop a smile from playing across her own lips at the sight.

“Hey,” Nico says, her voice small and shy. Karolina feels her heart melt a little—just the sight of Nico gets her weak, still. It never stopped being that way, but it was easier to ignore when Karolina had someone else to kiss. Now, now she knows exactly what Nico’s lips taste like, and it’s hard to think about anything else.

“Hey,” Karolina almost whispers back, unable to conjure her voice all of a sudden. But the fact that everything else had happened that evening, too, means that they probably need to talk about it. “You okay?”

Nico takes a deep, shuddering breath, and Karolina wants to pull her into a tight, reassuring hug. She’s always had the weight of them on her shoulders, and tonight is no different. 

“No,” Nico says with a humorless laugh. “Alex is back, and I—I was a complete failure. I’ve  _ been  _ a complete failure, but that didn’t matter when I was all we had, you know?” Karolina appreciates that Nico’s being honest with her—it’s better than her bottling everything up like she used to—like she did, until tonight. Something about tonight has been different. “But now Alex is back, and I don’t trust him at all, but he—he knows more about what’s going on, and I don’t know what to do. Do I let him walk back in and take over again, like—like nothing happened? Like he didn’t  _ betray  _ us and try to  _ kill  _ us?”

Karolina doesn’t see the tears until they drip off of Nico’s chin, and the drop that hits the floor looks like Karolina’s heart melting out of her chest. 

“Hey—no, you didn’t fail us. You didn’t fail any of us. Hell, you’re the only reason we’re still alive, Nico. You got us out of everything that came at us, and you’ll keep being amazing as long as we’re all still breathing.”

Nico shakes her head. “Gert  _ died,  _ Karolina. Old Lace died. Victor died.  _ I—”  _ Nico chokes on the words, and Karolina feels her chest squeeze, hoping,  _ praying  _ that the next words she’s expecting don’t come out of Nico’s mouth. “ _ I  _ died.”

Karolina feels the ground sway underneath her. “You… you died?”

Nico’s shoulders shudder with more tears, and Karolina has never wanted to hug her more, hug her tighter, but Nico’s looking at the floor. She can’t even meet her eyes, just keeps her arms tight around her body, eyes trained on the inside of her hair. 

“Yeah,” Nico says, but it’s no louder than a whisper. “On Murderworld. Chase… I don’t know what happened. He was under Apex’s control…” Karolina doesn’t know who that is, but she doesn’t interrupt. “He…” Nico hesitates, finally flicking her gaze to Karolina’s. “He killed me.”

Karolina feels like her whole world’s shaken with just those words. She doesn’t know what Murderworld did to her, other than that it’s the reason why Nico and Chase disappeared, and then why Nico didn’t come back. The last time Karolina had seen Nico, before she turned up in front of Karolina’s dorm, she’d been kidnapped. And then… she died?

No wonder Chase never told her. 

Karolina steps forward, closing the distance between them, and pulls Nico tight into her arms. Nico’s limp, leaning into her, shoulders shaking and sniffling up a storm. Karolina doesn’t know what to do (how can she? Nico just told her she  _ died,  _ for God’s sake) or how to react—all she can do is hold Nico as closely as she can with one arm, stroking her hair with the other. It takes Nico a moment to calm down, but eventually she stops shaking so badly, and Karolina plants a kiss to her forehead. 

“Hey,” Karolina murmurs, trying desperately to think of any words, anything to make Nico feel any better. “I’m here. You’re here. You’re okay.”

Nico nods into Karolina’s shoulder (it’s only then that Karolina’s struck by how much shorter she is), her sniffles quieting down and her breath steadying.

“Thanks for being here, Karrie,” Nico mumbles after a moment. “I shouldn’t have left.”

Karolina hums. “But you came back. It’s okay.”

“I shouldn’t have left at all—you guys needed me. The team wouldn’t have fallen apart if I’d come back.”

Karolina pulls away, searching for Nico’s gaze. Her eyes are dark—they’re always dark, but tonight they’re brewing storms, rain already falling from them. “We’re a family. Families fall apart. It’s not your fault.”

“I—”

“You needed the time to heal. And now, you’re back, and everyone’s back together. You’re here now, and there’s no point in regretting things you can’t change.”

“We  _ do  _ have a time machine,” Nico points out, but there’s a small smile on her face, and  _ oh,  _ she’s joking.

“Time travel isn’t worth the trouble,” Karolina huffs. 

Nico looks at her, then, her gaze flickering back and forth from her eyes to her lips. “I can think of one thing I’d change, first, though.”

Karolina leans in a little more, their sadness forgotten as the closeness of their bodies and lips becomes more apparent. “Oh?”

“I’d tell my sixteen year old self,” Nico whispers, brushing their lips together and sending tingles down Karolina’s back, “to do this.” And she kisses her. Karolina’s never melted into a kiss more, sinking into it, cupping Nico’s jaw with both hands as she presses their lips together more firmly.  _ I’m here,  _ she wants her lips to say as she runs her tongue along Nico’s bottom lip, revelling in the feeling.  _ I’m here, I’m real, this is real, and I want to do this every day for the rest of our lives.  _ Luckily, Nico seems to get the picture—she’s gasping for breath, a little, her hands moving from Karolina’s shoulders to her back, and Karolina’s not at all opposed to the direction this took. She hesitates, then bends down and sweeps Nico’s knees together and over her forearm, catching her back with her other arm as Nico fell into her arms, shrieking in surprise. 

“Warn me next time,” she grumbles, clutching Karolina’s back, panting. Karolina giggles at the way Nico’s looking at her—pretending to be annoyed, but she looks  _ so _ soft. It takes hardly a second for Karolina to make the decision: yes, she’s ready to give everything for Nico Minoru.

She carries them over to her bed (thanks, Chase!), dumping both of them rather unceremoniously onto the mattress. Nico squeaks and rolls away from her, and Karolina slides herself on top of her before she can get too far. Nico looks up at her, a soft, uncertain smile on her face, her eyes filled with affection and a little bit of awe. 

“You sure?” Nico asks, her voice a little small, a little… insecure. Karolina feels her heart swell.

“Of course,” Karolina says, as softly as she can, bending down to kiss Nico once again. Nico doesn’t hesitate—her hands wander down to the back of Karolina’s dress, fiddling with the zipper for a moment before tugging it down, and Karolina leans back to slide the whole thing over her head, dropping the fabric onto the floor next to her bed. Nico’s already looking at her a little awestruck, but that look only intensifies as Karolina’s now sitting on Nico’s hips, her whole chest laid bare for her to see. Karolina’s mouth feels a little dry at the way Nico’s lips are parted in a soft, surprised  _ o.  _

“Your turn,” Karolina says, somewhat embarrassed just from how long Nico’s been staring at her like  _ that.  _ She expects Nico to give some witty reply—what she  _ doesn’t  _ expect is for Nico to dodge her eye contact and bite her lip nervously. 

“I—um,” Nico stammers, and Karolina’s eyes widen involuntarily. Has she misread this completely? 

“Is something wrong?” Karolina asks, clutching the blankets to her sides, poised to get off of Nico if she asks. 

“I—I have… scars,” Nico says quietly. “A lot.”

It takes Karolina a second to process the words. “Scars?”

Nico’s teeth on her lip bite down harder, and she nods. “From… from the Staff.”

Understanding sparks in Karolina, finally. Scars from harming herself over two years of drawing blood for casting spells. Karolina leans down, slow, giving Nico plenty of space and warning to pull away. She lowers her lips to the first scar that she sees, the one she’s seen a hundred times, since it’s one of the first—a tiny, faded line on Nico’s forearm. She keeps eye contact with Nico as she presses her lips to that one, and then another on the same arm. And another.

“You’re gorgeous, Nico,” she murmurs, and Nico’s breath hitches—Karolina can feel her chest freeze underneath her own. “I don’t mind them.”

Nico nods, and moves to sit up, so Karolina pulls away—just enough that Nico can grasp the hem of her dress and pull it over her head, and then, after a moment’s deliberation, casts it onto the floor beside Karolina’s. Karolina wishes she could remember how to breathe—Nico’s underneath her, nearly naked, save for underwear, and absolutely stunning. She can spy scars peeking out pretty much everywhere she looks, but it’s  _ Nico, Nico’s underneath her,  _ and she can’t breathe, she can’t think, she’s so blissful. 

“Karolina?” Nico asks, her voice high and uncertain. Karolina looks up at her—her eyes are filled with nervousness. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Karolina says again, trying to pour all of the love she feels into the words. Nico’s eyes soften, and she smiles, looking a little flustered. Karolina grins as she presses kisses to the scars along Nico’s collarbone, along Nico’s sides and her stomach, kissing every scar she can find. Nico’s sighing and twining her hands through Karolina’s hair, so she figures she’s probably on the right path.

Karolina stops when she gets to a fresh one, though. It’s red and long and spans about three inches on Nico’s thigh. Karolina looks up at Nico, gently questioning, and Nico looks away.

“Um, that one—that’s from when Chase came into my apartment. With Gert.”

She doesn’t need to say anything else—Karolina understands her perfectly. She’d had to summon the Staff to save Gert. 

“You’re incredible, you know that?” Karolina kisses the scar on her thigh, and Nico shivers underneath her. “You’re so brave, and you’ve done so much. It’s incredible to watch you—and you’re so strong, for this.” Karolina kisses it again, trying to convey how much she  _ means  _ those words. “Your scars don’t make you weak. Summoning the Staff doesn’t make you weak—you’re  _ strong,  _ Nico, stronger than anyone else I know.”

Nico gives her a half-smile, but doesn’t look entirely believing of her, and it fills Karolina with a new desperation. How can she think this makes her someone weaker, someone lesser, someone undeserving?

“You deserve the world,” Karolina murmurs, finally bringing herself back up to Nico’s lips and crashing them together with some new, passion-fueled kiss. “You deserve everything.”

“I just want you,” Nico gasps, and Karolina grins. 

“I can do that.”

“Wait—wait,” Nico breaks away, panting, and Karolina’s brows knit together.

“What?” 

Nico tugs on Karolina’s bracelet—the medical alert one that’s not really a medical alert one, but rather, the thing that suppresses her powers. “Take this off.”

Karolina looks up at her, surprised. “You sure?”

Nico nods. “You should… be yourself. For this.”

Karolina searches her— _ really  _ searches. She finds nothing but a quiet determination, a fondness, a sweetly insecure but fierce love that Karolina knows she mirrors in waves. So Karolina unclasps her bracelet, and immediately the room is bathed in a beautiful light—pink, and blue, and yellow, all swirling together like some long lost galaxy. Nico smiles,  _ really  _ smiles, an awestruck beam that makes Karolina feel warm all the way to her toes.

“ _ You’re  _ gorgeous,” Nico says, and Karolina would be blushing if she weren’t glowing. Nico leans up to kiss her, then, and Karolina reciprocates gladly, relishing Nico’s lips against hers. It’s still such a novelty, getting to kiss Nico—Karolina’s not sure she’ll ever get over the initial disbelief. 

Nico’s hands run down Karolina’s back, and Karolina lets her, only shifting around when Nico’s hands come to rest over her hips, fingertips just above her underwear line. Nico’s eyes speak wanting more, but the uncertainty there stops her. Karolina reaches down and—just to show off, honestly—unclasps Nico’s bra with one hand, revelling in the  _ look  _ that Nico gives her as she pulls it away, throwing it onto the floor next to their dresses. Nico’s lips are parted a little, in shock. Karolina itches to kiss them again.

“You okay with this?” Nico asks, clearing her throat. Karolina rolls her eyes.

“Of course,” she responds, leaning onto one knee and sliding her underwear off the other foot, then doing the same on the other side. “Thought we established that.”

Nico’s staring, just staring, and Karolina’s enjoying the feeling of being on display like this. For  _ Nico.  _

“I—um—yeah.”

“Can I?” Karolina asks, skimming her hands down Nico’s sides and stopping at Nico’s own panties. Nico nods, breathless, so Karolina slides her hands underneath Nico and removes her underwear as quickly as she can (as much as she wouldn’t admit it, she’s nervous, too, and Nico looking at her like she’s a Goddess with Experience doesn’t help, either). Nico’s naked, then, too, and they just stare at each other like idiots, because suddenly Karolina can’t remember how to breathe.

“Karrie?” Nico asks, that nervousness returning, and Karolina can’t  _ stand  _ to see Nico so unsure of herself, so she decides to just take the plunge. Nico’s hands thread through her hair as her thighs clench on either side of Karolina’s ears, and Karolina’s just experimenting, seeing what makes Nico tick. She’s done this before, sure, but Nico’s sensitive, Karolina comes to learn—nothing like Julie, who really wouldn’t ever get off at all unless Karolina had two fingers in. Nico’s probably halfway there just from Karolina’s tongue, which is a very ego-boosting feeling. Nico’s shuddering and gasping too much to really guide Karolina through it, which doesn’t really matter, since Karolina can self-guide just from when Nico’s stomach clenches, or when her thighs press harder against Karolina’s neck, or when she gasps and her fingers pull on Karolina’s hair. Karolina’s absolutely  _ not  _ prepared for it being  _ Nico  _ beneath her while she works, though, and it turns out having the love of her life whispering her name like a prayer over and over while she runs her tongue in slow circles around her clit is something else entirely—Karolina’s sure the sound of Nico gasping and panting like that is going to be in her dreams until she dies. 

Finally, Nico shrieks— _ actually  _ shrieks, which startles Karolina more than anything—and relaxes, so Karolina eases her body back up Nico’s own. Nico’s panting, and Karolina’s delighted to see that her eyes look a little glassy.

“God,” Nico mumbles as Karolina looks down at her with a shit-eating grin. “Who gave you the right?”

“You did, if I recall correctly,” Karolina teases, rolling over onto her side, spreading her legs out comically wide. “Your turn.”

Nico groans. “Give me…  _ five  _ seconds to catch my goddamn breath.” 


End file.
